About a year ago I was reading through a book of modern parables by an Irish theologian. After reading a parable I would take some time and reflect on it over a cup of coffee. One of these parables had a dramatic affect on me because it made me question one of my most foundational assumptions.
Essentially I asked myself: "If I stopped believing in God tomorrow, how would my life change?"
Now this may seem like a silly question, but the profundity of my answer was what gripped me with fear.
In all honesty, the troubling part of this experience was that I discovered that my life probably wouldn't change much. Your probably thinking that I'm going in the direction of discovering that I needed to be more committed to God, become more involved in my church, and stop participating in gang wars and drug cartels. Ok, maybe not that last part.
But the truth is, by even the most pious, dogmatic, born-again believer's perspective I was/am living a "good" life. So it's not that I was convicted of my short-comings (forgive me if I sound arrogant).
No, what struck me in the deepest part of my heart, was that I would probably continue my life as normal even if I no longer believed in what had formed my lifestyle. Allow me to clarify:
The things I was doing for God did not require a belief in God.
Again, I love engaging in my Christian life. I help lead worship, I teach the Bible, I preach on occasion, and I even strategically disciple young men. I believe what bothered me so much about this time of reflection was the discovery of what was driving all of my endeavors.
The driving force in my life was not the cosmically huge knowledge that the Son of God invites people into a reconciled relationship with his Father, my driving force was that I simply enjoyed the Christian aspects of my life and I could think of no better alternatives.
This realization has humbled me and it constantly forces me to examine my intentions for obedience to God's Word. Because even though people should not feel guilty about enjoying the Christian life, it should definitely not be the basis of our allegiance. Because at some point it will become difficult and inconvenient, and that's when our foundation and intentions need to be firmly rooted in obedience to the risen Christ.
I challenge you to examine the reasons for your church attendance, your service, and your kindness. Is it because it's just the way your life is, because you have no better alternatives at this time? Or is it because you choose to live in devotion to God, and Christ is your driving force?
"Crush the boxes, break the frames, dance off rhythm, don't be tamed"
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